14 YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’RE A BASIC COFFEE BITCH

14 YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’RE A BASIC COFFEE BITCH

I’m addicted to coffee. I feel this statement doesn’t need to be expanded upon but it’s a great opening for this post. While I like to think that I’m this coffee connoisseur drinking only independent coffee and knowing the difference between Arabica and Colombian beans. But let’s face it. I’m really just a basic coffee bitch.

Trust me, there’s a basic coffee bitch in all of us? How do you know if you’re one? Well….

 

champagne lifestyle basic coffee bitch

Basic Coffee Bitch…

  1. You only pick certain coffees depending on their Instagram worthiness. Lattes with their beautiful latte art- yas! Cappuccino’s with their ugly frothy head- oh no!
  2. It all tastes the same to you. You try to pretend but coffee tastes like coffee. You cannot taste the fruity notes or the woody undertones. It’s just coffee-tasting.
  3. You have a constant hand-warmer in the winter. Your fingertips appreciate this!
  4. You have your own chain. Whether it be Starbucks, Costa or Cafe Nero, you have your chosen poison. And nothing on this earth will make you try anyone else’s rainwater.
  5. Seasons are your favourite thing. When seasonal drinks come out, you’re fully prepared to jump on that bandwagon. Think of the hashtag you can join in on- mucho plus on the social points!
  6. You will always pretend that independent coffee is the best and hardly touch any major coffee corporation’s drinks. But let’s face it- it’s the other way around.
  7. The one thing you love about coffee is you always have a mug or take away cup to cover your second chin in photos when you most need it.
  8. If you don’t get coffee within the first hour of waking up, your day is written off for good. You consider it a major food group in your life.
  9. You will give drip coffee, stove coffee and filter coffee a go but really it’s to maintain your street cred. Again, caffeine is caffeine. You’ve gotta love the java!
  10. Should anyone want coffee recommendations, you can name at least ten off the top of your head. However, even with a gun to your head, you couldn’t recite any country capitals or your mum’s birthday.
  11. Your that person who makes THAT coffee order. How else can you go on with your day without your no-foam latte with four shots, non-dairy, hazelnut syrup coffee with cream?
  12. You really do believe that the doctor recommendation of eight pints a day of water should include the water used to brew your coffee. If it was, you would be on point with that healthy lifestyle everyone is going on about.
  13. The day the Christmas cups come out is marked on your calendar so you can ensure you get it all over your social before anyone else. Your mums birthday, however, is nowhere to be found on the calendar of yours…
  14. You’ve only had your coffee at luke-warm temperature. But boy, does that picture on your Instagram look good! Anything for the gram!

 

So, are you also a basic coffee bitch?

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